nothing can fill the void in my stomach, the feeling of emptiness without him here with me. we both pretend like we’re okay, but it’s just a cover up to hide our vulnerability we’re too ashamed to show. i wake up every morning and remember what it was like to feel the warmth of his skin next to me, and hear his shallow breathing. i fall asleep every night wondering what girl he’s with in attempt to fill his emptiness for the night, to feel alive again. i only feel invincible when i’m drunk nowadays, and even then it’s not the same. it’s the momentary lapse of the thought of him on my mind, a few seconds that i’m free of being tied down by thinking of how it looked like to just simply lay beside him. those small moments i’m free of thinking of him, are the moments i’ve come to cherish. when i’m not drunk or blacking out, all i can feel is the ache and pain of missing him. it constantly feels like my chest is breaking, and i can’t breathe. i can’t get the thought of his lips and smile off of my mind. i’m going insane, but i’m going to keep pretending, going on like i’m not bothered, and not in love. love makes one weak in the soul, and corrupts the mind of judgement.